You know it's New Year's when...

You know it's New Year's when... you don't see a single soul online on gchat when you log in at 8 o'clock in the morning...* and these are the kinds of conversation you have over the phone... **

"Aghghghilllaaa... I am sooooo drunk Aghghghillla... You know what I did last night... you won't believe this... I had two tequila shots and some kind of a tea.. forgot what it was.. Ohhh.. Long Island Tea... I have never been soooooo drunk before.. I think I made quite a spectacle of myself in front of my friends... :| And oh yeah.... Happy New Year!!! :D"

"It was sooooo cold last night.. I took my camera and tripod and went out to watch the fireworks.. You won't believe how cold it was... While taking pictures, I had to remove my gloves and my hands were freeeeezing.. Now, I am down with a cold and fever... :("

"You know what.. I thought the party at my cousin's place was last night.. turns out it is tonight.. I just ended up watching 3 idiots and went to bed.. :|"

"I have never bought alcohol myself before.. I went to the store and stood at the wine aisle, rather stupidly staring at all the labels.. After spending half-an-hour at the store, I decided to pick up whatever this decent, my age-looking girl chose.. Late harvest Riesling.. supposed to have a good aroma.. and then I thought, 'Hell...!!! Who wants good aroma at a New Year's bash?!' ...and so picked up the sweet and crisp Riesling, which is supposed to go well with spicy stuff.. ;)"

And this one is the best -
"I lovvvvvvvvvvve you... muuuuuaaaaaaaaaaah.. :-* "
(Mind you... I actually heard that kiss!)
Me: (Slightly blushing) Ahem.. Okaayyy.. Did you have a good time last night?
"Welllllll... ummmmmm.... Nooooooooo!!!!!" :D

Happy New Year everybody!!! Cheers!!! :)

*Yes, if I am awake at 8 o'clock in the morning on New Year's Day logging into gchat and calling people up, you can tell what a sad New Year's Eve I must have had. :(
**My dear friends - Please don't be mad at me for making our conversations public. I have taken great care not to give away your identities. :) So, please return the favour by not revealing your identities through your comments. :P

Short in the Tooth :D

"Wisdom teeth usually appear between the ages of 17 and 25. They are called wisdom teeth because they usually come in when a person is between ages 17 and 25 or older—old enough to have supposedly gained some wisdom", says Wikipedia.

Apparently, I haven't gained any! I have long known that I didn't have wisdom teeth. I was rather proud of it - made me feel younger than the rest of my friends who had them - till this evening when I discovered that I may not grow wisdom teeth ever. Apparently, if they haven't grown by a certain age, chances are that they will never grow. :( My only consolation is that wisdom teeth are, after all, vestigial molars that our ancestors had, that we don't need anymore.

"Humans are gradually losing their wisdom teeth, with some individuals having them congenitally absent." So, does that mean I am more evolved?! :P

Just when I was gloating over that thought, a rather consciously ignored truth gleamed in my mind. The fact that I have at least four milk teeth left in my jaw, and I don't even want to find out how many more are in there! Milk teeth, baby teeth, deciduous teeth - call them whatever you want to - they are still intact, smiling at me every morning. I remember I went to a dentist, not very long ago, with complaints of a shaky tooth. The nurse put a funny instrument into my mouth, tapped my unstable tooth gently, and exclaimed, "OMG! That is a baby tooth! How old are you?! Twelve?!" She then affectionately pinched my cheek, like I were a little child. I can only thank my stars that she didn't hand me a chocolate at the end of the visit.

Quoting Wikipedia again, "By age twelve there usually are only permanent teeth remaining." Now, that really makes me feel very young!! :D

Young and highly evolved - what a deadly combination - enough to take over the world, isn't it?! :)

The tree

There is this leafless, almost lifeless tree outside my apartment. It is not always like this, the autumn and the winter are taking their toll on it. Looking out through the window, I was sketching it (on real paper using real pencils) when all of a sudden I realized that there was no more daylight to help me finish the picture. Slightly disappointed, I resorted to 'Paint' to indulge in my sketching enthusiasm for today. Here is the outcome. This is not the tree that is outside my apartment, those are not the people sitting under it, and there is no electric post like that anywhere close by. I know what you are thinking - "How kiddish!" I agree! :D

Technically sound!

This happened a couple of weeks ago. One of my labmates' computer at home crashed and she re-installed her OS. Everything was working fine except for her internet. As if I am an expert on computers and internet, I decided to go to her place to troubleshoot. I can already hear at least one person go, "Hahahahahahaaaa.. Look who was gonna troubleshoot internet issues!"

After trying some basic fixes (like re-starting the computer, turning off and on the modem), I realized that it was beyond my trouble-shooting capacity to fix the internet that day. So, I called up my brother who happens to me my tech-guru. Murphy's laws work without fail (and that is probably the only exception to the Murphy's laws - if you know what I mean). He didn't pick up his phone. So, I called up this other friend who certainly qualifies to be called tech-savvy and told him what the deal was. After asking me a few questions, he suggested that I call the ISP because there was nothing wrong with the computer or the modem. I think I understood why he said that, but let's not go into that! :P

So, I decided to call AT&T customer service and speak for my friend (not as my friend). Btw, I find it really annoying that AT&T actually makes you say 'Yes', 'No', 'Give me more options', 'Internet Problems', 'Tech support' etc. instead of making you enter the 1's and 2's and what-not's on your cell-phone. When the silly program doesn’t understand what you have said, it goes, “Sorry, I did not get that. If you would like technical support, say ‘Tech Support’, if you would like blah blah blah....” Aaaaaaaargh!

Anyways, after going through that drill, I finally got to speak with a customer service representative. I wasn't very surprised when the call went all the way across the globe to a call center in India.

"Hi! Thank you for calling AT&T customer service. This is Mike. How may I help you today?”

Yeah, right!! Mike, is it? I'm sure his name was some Mariappan or Michael Madhana Kama Rajan, for sanity's sake, shortened to Mike. And if you don't know what that latter name was all about, please watch it! It is a movie starring Kamal in four roles – will crack you up for sure!

Back to our dear Mike.

I tried hard to stifle my laughter and whispered to my Japanese friend (let's call her Sensei Sensei for now), "Sensei! This guy is Indian!" She followed the ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ protocol very faithfully.

"Can I have the name please?"
"Sensei Sensei."

"Is this the name associated with the account?”
"Yes."

I didn’t intend to talk as Sensei. It so happened that he thought I was Sensei. The confusion got sorted out later on when he realized that Sensei was sitting right next to me and I was asking her for all the basic information that I had to provide him with.

“So Sensei, could you tell me what exactly the problem is?
I told him.

“Couldddd yooouuuuu dooo sommmmethinnng Sensei? Could yooouuuuu turn off yourrrr commmpppuuuterrr, turn off yourrrr moooodddem, wait 20 seconnndds, restaaarrrrrrtt yourrrr moooodddem and then restarrrrtt your commmpppuuutterrr plllleeeassse?”

I did precisely as told.

"Now, caaaaaaannn yoouuuuu tell me what type of moooodddem you are uuuussinnnngggg?”

Once I provided him with that information, he asked me to tell him how many lights were there on that modem and how many were ‘ON’. I told him that one of the lights was not 'ON'.

“Verrrrrrry gooooooooddd, Sensei. That is egggggggcellllennntt!”

Huh?? What was excellent about that??

He then asked me to set up a new internet connection. So, these were his instructions, "Doooooooo yoouuuuuuu seeeeeeeeee aaa grrrrrrrrreeeeeeeen Staaaaaaarrrrrrtttt butttttonnnnnn onnn yoooourrrrr commmmpppppuuuuuuuttter screeeeeennn?”

"Yes! I do!!"

“Gooooood. Caaaaaaannnnn youuuuuuu clllllllllick on it, pllllleeeeeeaaassse?”

Imagine my frustration. He walked me through the process of setting up a new internet connection in his slow droning speech. More than his speech, it was his assumption that I was really stupid and didn’t know the basics of how to use a computer that irked me a lot. Of course, if I’ve called you about a problem with my internet connection, I obviously know how to use a computer!! For goodness sake!!

We had to set up a new internet connection multiple times, and on subsequent trials, I wouldn’t wait for his instructions and would let him know once I was actually done with the process.

"Wonnnnnnnnnnddderfullll, Sensei!! Thatttt is reeeeeeeaaaaaaallly wonnnnnddderrrfullll!!”

Half way through the call, I had become so impatient with him that I asked him if this was a problem that was fixable over the phone. I had a good mind to ask him to connect me to someone higher up in the ranks.

“Yessssss Ms. Sensei. Thiss is cerrrrrtttainnnnnly fixabllllle overrrrrr the phooonnne. Now, would you gooooooo to Myyyyyy Commmppuu….”

I was seriously losing it at some point, but he was very patient. Well, the call lasted about 45 min. Eventually, when everything was sorted out, I couldn’t stop myself from saying this, “I have to tell you this though, that you have been very patient with me.” Well, I really don’t know which one of us was more patient with the other.

“Oh nooooooo, Ms. Senseeeiiiii! You are highly mistaken. You are technically very sound. Usually I have a hard time giving instructions to customers because they don’t understand things very easily. It was very interesting troubleshooting with you. I enjoyed it!"

Enjoyed it, huh??!! Is that why he went on and on and on?!

“Sensei, if you are happy with my service, please fill in the feedback form that you will receive via e-mail from AT&T and let us know about your experience today. Again, my name is Mike. Thank you for choosing AT&T.We appppprrrrreeeeeciaaaatttte your business."

Yeah, right!

Mitsuwa

On a tired Saturday evening, a phone call from a lab-mate brought some excitement. There was a plan to drive to Mitsuwa, the Japanese super-market in the outskirts of the city. After a little contemplation, I said yes and I don't regret it. :)

I remember, way back in school, I had this chapter in one of my Hindi text-books about the Japanese and their culture. I remember two distinct characteristics about the Japanese from that lesson - their hardworking nature and their penchant for order and cleanliness. I got a glimpse of it at Mitsuwa. It was quite a big store selling many different kinds of seafood but everything was so neatly organized and there was no odour of any sort emanating from any corner of the store. The store seemed like a busy market in a cute, clean little town. Polite shopkeepers, smiling cooks at the fast-food stalls, and the ever-so courteous women at the check-out counters, just leave you with a desire to stay put and admire the happenings. I was slightly disappointed by the fact that they did not have English translations for a lot of their commodities. But, that was not a problem as I had my Japanese friends to help me out.

While I was lazily scanning the different kinds of fish, this kid, a boy about 13 years old, walked up to me at a hurried pace with an eager excitement on his face. I thought he wanted to get past me to the other end of the aisle, so I moved my cart aside making way for him. He walked around the cart, came close to me and held me by both my hands. I was initially taken aback by the 'audacity' of that act. But, he held me so affectionately, and looked into my eyes with such a soft and loving smile, that I couldn't help smiling back at him. Ah! What I felt then is indescribable in words. Was it a mother's feeling when her child comes running to her at the end of a long day in school? Or was it the joy of finding a long lost friend? My friends stood there quite perplexed by what was going on.

It was a fleeting moment, but felt like ages. The boy's mother came running up to us and dragged the boy away by his arm. She screwed her son's ears very gently and said something to him in Japanese, which seemed like rebuke for his behaviour. She apologized to me and walked away with her son. Suddenly, things started to make sense to me. The kid was probably autistic. He was talking in vague sounds to his mother when she pulled him away from me. With his head tilted in quite an uncomfortable angle, he followed his mother as she disappeared into a different section of the store. I couldn't take my eyes off the direction in which they went. My mind was not into the new and interesting things around me anymore. I was yearning to see that little boy again.

Towards the end of our shopping, I saw the mother and the son again. This time, I smiled at the lady but she turned her face away, almost as if in embarrassment. I wanted to tell her that I was not offended by what her son did and that she needn't feel sorry. In fact, that was a lovely moment that I would cherish forever. But, words just wouldn't form in my head. Thoughts remained as thoughts and feelings as feelings, locked into that little corner of the brain that treasures life's most defining moments, moments that stir your soul.