This happened a couple of weeks ago. One of my labmates' computer at home crashed and she re-installed her OS. Everything was working fine except for her internet. As if I am an expert on computers and internet, I decided to go to her place to troubleshoot. I can already hear at least one person go, "Hahahahahahaaaa.. Look who was gonna troubleshoot internet issues!"
After trying some basic fixes (like re-starting the computer, turning off and on the modem), I realized that it was beyond my trouble-shooting capacity to fix the internet that day. So, I called up my brother who happens to me my tech-guru. Murphy's laws work without fail (and that is probably the only exception to the Murphy's laws - if you know what I mean). He didn't pick up his phone. So, I called up this other friend who certainly qualifies to be called tech-savvy and told him what the deal was. After asking me a few questions, he suggested that I call the ISP because there was nothing wrong with the computer or the modem. I think I understood why he said that, but let's not go into that! :P
So, I decided to call AT&T customer service and speak for my friend (not as my friend). Btw, I find it really annoying that AT&T actually makes you say 'Yes', 'No', 'Give me more options', 'Internet Problems', 'Tech support' etc. instead of making you enter the 1's and 2's and what-not's on your cell-phone. When the silly program doesn’t understand what you have said, it goes, “Sorry, I did not get that. If you would like technical support, say ‘Tech Support’, if you would like blah blah blah....” Aaaaaaaargh!
Anyways, after going through that drill, I finally got to speak with a customer service representative. I wasn't very surprised when the call went all the way across the globe to a call center in India.
"Hi! Thank you for calling AT&T customer service. This is Mike. How may I help you today?”
Yeah, right!! Mike, is it? I'm sure his name was some Mariappan or Michael Madhana Kama Rajan, for sanity's sake, shortened to Mike. And if you don't know what that latter name was all about, please watch it! It is a movie starring Kamal in four roles – will crack you up for sure!
Back to our dear Mike.
I tried hard to stifle my laughter and whispered to my Japanese friend (let's call her Sensei Sensei for now), "Sensei! This guy is Indian!" She followed the ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ protocol very faithfully.
"Can I have the name please?"
"Sensei Sensei."
"Is this the name associated with the account?”
"Yes."
I didn’t intend to talk as Sensei. It so happened that he thought I was Sensei. The confusion got sorted out later on when he realized that Sensei was sitting right next to me and I was asking her for all the basic information that I had to provide him with.
“So Sensei, could you tell me what exactly the problem is?
I told him.
“Couldddd yooouuuuu dooo sommmmethinnng Sensei? Could yooouuuuu turn off yourrrr commmpppuuuterrr, turn off yourrrr moooodddem, wait 20 seconnndds, restaaarrrrrrtt yourrrr moooodddem and then restarrrrtt your commmpppuuutterrr plllleeeassse?”
I did precisely as told.
"Now, caaaaaaannn yoouuuuu tell me what type of moooodddem you are uuuussinnnngggg?”
Once I provided him with that information, he asked me to tell him how many lights were there on that modem and how many were ‘ON’. I told him that one of the lights was not 'ON'.
“Verrrrrrry gooooooooddd, Sensei. That is egggggggcellllennntt!”
Huh?? What was excellent about that??
He then asked me to set up a new internet connection. So, these were his instructions, "Doooooooo yoouuuuuuu seeeeeeeeee aaa grrrrrrrrreeeeeeeen Staaaaaaarrrrrrtttt butttttonnnnnn onnn yoooourrrrr commmmpppppuuuuuuuttter screeeeeennn?”
"Yes! I do!!"
“Gooooood. Caaaaaaannnnn youuuuuuu clllllllllick on it, pllllleeeeeeaaassse?”
Imagine my frustration. He walked me through the process of setting up a new internet connection in his slow droning speech. More than his speech, it was his assumption that I was really stupid and didn’t know the basics of how to use a computer that irked me a lot. Of course, if I’ve called you about a problem with my internet connection, I obviously know how to use a computer!! For goodness sake!!
We had to set up a new internet connection multiple times, and on subsequent trials, I wouldn’t wait for his instructions and would let him know once I was actually done with the process.
"Wonnnnnnnnnnddderfullll, Sensei!! Thatttt is reeeeeeeaaaaaaallly wonnnnnddderrrfullll!!”
Half way through the call, I had become so impatient with him that I asked him if this was a problem that was fixable over the phone. I had a good mind to ask him to connect me to someone higher up in the ranks.
“Yessssss Ms. Sensei. Thiss is cerrrrrtttainnnnnly fixabllllle overrrrrr the phooonnne. Now, would you gooooooo to Myyyyyy Commmppuu….”
I was seriously losing it at some point, but he was very patient. Well, the call lasted about 45 min. Eventually, when everything was sorted out, I couldn’t stop myself from saying this, “I have to tell you this though, that you have been very patient with me.” Well, I really don’t know which one of us was more patient with the other.
“Oh nooooooo, Ms. Senseeeiiiii! You are highly mistaken. You are technically very sound. Usually I have a hard time giving instructions to customers because they don’t understand things very easily. It was very interesting troubleshooting with you. I enjoyed it!"
Enjoyed it, huh??!! Is that why he went on and on and on?!
“Sensei, if you are happy with my service, please fill in the feedback form that you will receive via e-mail from AT&T and let us know about your experience today. Again, my name is Mike. Thank you for choosing AT&T.We appppprrrrreeeeeciaaaatttte your business."
Yeah, right!
After trying some basic fixes (like re-starting the computer, turning off and on the modem), I realized that it was beyond my trouble-shooting capacity to fix the internet that day. So, I called up my brother who happens to me my tech-guru. Murphy's laws work without fail (and that is probably the only exception to the Murphy's laws - if you know what I mean). He didn't pick up his phone. So, I called up this other friend who certainly qualifies to be called tech-savvy and told him what the deal was. After asking me a few questions, he suggested that I call the ISP because there was nothing wrong with the computer or the modem. I think I understood why he said that, but let's not go into that! :P
So, I decided to call AT&T customer service and speak for my friend (not as my friend). Btw, I find it really annoying that AT&T actually makes you say 'Yes', 'No', 'Give me more options', 'Internet Problems', 'Tech support' etc. instead of making you enter the 1's and 2's and what-not's on your cell-phone. When the silly program doesn’t understand what you have said, it goes, “Sorry, I did not get that. If you would like technical support, say ‘Tech Support’, if you would like blah blah blah....” Aaaaaaaargh!
Anyways, after going through that drill, I finally got to speak with a customer service representative. I wasn't very surprised when the call went all the way across the globe to a call center in India.
"Hi! Thank you for calling AT&T customer service. This is Mike. How may I help you today?”
Yeah, right!! Mike, is it? I'm sure his name was some Mariappan or Michael Madhana Kama Rajan, for sanity's sake, shortened to Mike. And if you don't know what that latter name was all about, please watch it! It is a movie starring Kamal in four roles – will crack you up for sure!
Back to our dear Mike.
I tried hard to stifle my laughter and whispered to my Japanese friend (let's call her Sensei Sensei for now), "Sensei! This guy is Indian!" She followed the ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ protocol very faithfully.
"Can I have the name please?"
"Sensei Sensei."
"Is this the name associated with the account?”
"Yes."
I didn’t intend to talk as Sensei. It so happened that he thought I was Sensei. The confusion got sorted out later on when he realized that Sensei was sitting right next to me and I was asking her for all the basic information that I had to provide him with.
“So Sensei, could you tell me what exactly the problem is?
I told him.
“Couldddd yooouuuuu dooo sommmmethinnng Sensei? Could yooouuuuu turn off yourrrr commmpppuuuterrr, turn off yourrrr moooodddem, wait 20 seconnndds, restaaarrrrrrtt yourrrr moooodddem and then restarrrrtt your commmpppuuutterrr plllleeeassse?”
I did precisely as told.
"Now, caaaaaaannn yoouuuuu tell me what type of moooodddem you are uuuussinnnngggg?”
Once I provided him with that information, he asked me to tell him how many lights were there on that modem and how many were ‘ON’. I told him that one of the lights was not 'ON'.
“Verrrrrrry gooooooooddd, Sensei. That is egggggggcellllennntt!”
Huh?? What was excellent about that??
He then asked me to set up a new internet connection. So, these were his instructions, "Doooooooo yoouuuuuuu seeeeeeeeee aaa grrrrrrrrreeeeeeeen Staaaaaaarrrrrrtttt butttttonnnnnn onnn yoooourrrrr commmmpppppuuuuuuuttter screeeeeennn?”
"Yes! I do!!"
“Gooooood. Caaaaaaannnnn youuuuuuu clllllllllick on it, pllllleeeeeeaaassse?”
Imagine my frustration. He walked me through the process of setting up a new internet connection in his slow droning speech. More than his speech, it was his assumption that I was really stupid and didn’t know the basics of how to use a computer that irked me a lot. Of course, if I’ve called you about a problem with my internet connection, I obviously know how to use a computer!! For goodness sake!!
We had to set up a new internet connection multiple times, and on subsequent trials, I wouldn’t wait for his instructions and would let him know once I was actually done with the process.
"Wonnnnnnnnnnddderfullll, Sensei!! Thatttt is reeeeeeeaaaaaaallly wonnnnnddderrrfullll!!”
Half way through the call, I had become so impatient with him that I asked him if this was a problem that was fixable over the phone. I had a good mind to ask him to connect me to someone higher up in the ranks.
“Yessssss Ms. Sensei. Thiss is cerrrrrtttainnnnnly fixabllllle overrrrrr the phooonnne. Now, would you gooooooo to Myyyyyy Commmppuu….”
I was seriously losing it at some point, but he was very patient. Well, the call lasted about 45 min. Eventually, when everything was sorted out, I couldn’t stop myself from saying this, “I have to tell you this though, that you have been very patient with me.” Well, I really don’t know which one of us was more patient with the other.
“Oh nooooooo, Ms. Senseeeiiiii! You are highly mistaken. You are technically very sound. Usually I have a hard time giving instructions to customers because they don’t understand things very easily. It was very interesting troubleshooting with you. I enjoyed it!"
Enjoyed it, huh??!! Is that why he went on and on and on?!
“Sensei, if you are happy with my service, please fill in the feedback form that you will receive via e-mail from AT&T and let us know about your experience today. Again, my name is Mike. Thank you for choosing AT&T.We appppprrrrreeeeeciaaaatttte your business."
Yeah, right!
7 comments:
Wow... You wrote a blog on that :P Cool!!!
BTW, for every1 else, the "other friend" which she refers is me :)
Btw, wasn't I clear about why I wanted you to call the ISP? :D => And look at the outcome - you came up with a beautiful blog post!! :)
haha, I sometimes feel the recorded phone lady actually gets exasperated when she is not able to understand me. I have a really lousy ISP and so I almost need to get my connection reset about every 2 months. After repeated attempts of making her understand I am saying "continue" in as many accents as I can think of, she goes "I am sorry we are having so much trouble" or "I am sorry this is not working out" . And I feel "Hell yeah, its me who should be saying that, dumb recorded lady".
Btw interesting post and cool description
@Abhishek
Haha.. thanks.. looks like I can't get away with saying 'a friend of mine' in future posts as the friends come claiming it is them that I am referring to.. My attempts at maintaining my friends' anonymity aren't really working.. :D
@Borna
Haha.. yeah..the exasperated recorded phone lady is annoying.. actually in this case, it was a recorded phone guy.. Anyways, I had yet another exciting, ear-wax melting call with AT&T a long time ago, which lasted for 2.5 hours! :D Sadly I've forgotten most of the details..
here comes a note of sympathy, empathy and an understanding indignation from a fellow sufferer..
such are the nonsencial blokes in those call centres that they are capable of blowing my top floor off so badly that they can even beat my boss at it..
can totally understand pal.
Amen..
Thank you for your understanding Himanshu! I really apppppreeeeeeciaaattte it! :D
Btw, what exactly was the problem ?
Haha.. SR.. you finally leave a comment on my blog!! Yippee!!! :D
Kudos! You are the only person to ask me that question. It so turns out that Her Elegance Ms. Sensei was using the wrong password! :D
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