Technically sound!

This happened a couple of weeks ago. One of my labmates' computer at home crashed and she re-installed her OS. Everything was working fine except for her internet. As if I am an expert on computers and internet, I decided to go to her place to troubleshoot. I can already hear at least one person go, "Hahahahahahaaaa.. Look who was gonna troubleshoot internet issues!"

After trying some basic fixes (like re-starting the computer, turning off and on the modem), I realized that it was beyond my trouble-shooting capacity to fix the internet that day. So, I called up my brother who happens to me my tech-guru. Murphy's laws work without fail (and that is probably the only exception to the Murphy's laws - if you know what I mean). He didn't pick up his phone. So, I called up this other friend who certainly qualifies to be called tech-savvy and told him what the deal was. After asking me a few questions, he suggested that I call the ISP because there was nothing wrong with the computer or the modem. I think I understood why he said that, but let's not go into that! :P

So, I decided to call AT&T customer service and speak for my friend (not as my friend). Btw, I find it really annoying that AT&T actually makes you say 'Yes', 'No', 'Give me more options', 'Internet Problems', 'Tech support' etc. instead of making you enter the 1's and 2's and what-not's on your cell-phone. When the silly program doesn’t understand what you have said, it goes, “Sorry, I did not get that. If you would like technical support, say ‘Tech Support’, if you would like blah blah blah....” Aaaaaaaargh!

Anyways, after going through that drill, I finally got to speak with a customer service representative. I wasn't very surprised when the call went all the way across the globe to a call center in India.

"Hi! Thank you for calling AT&T customer service. This is Mike. How may I help you today?”

Yeah, right!! Mike, is it? I'm sure his name was some Mariappan or Michael Madhana Kama Rajan, for sanity's sake, shortened to Mike. And if you don't know what that latter name was all about, please watch it! It is a movie starring Kamal in four roles – will crack you up for sure!

Back to our dear Mike.

I tried hard to stifle my laughter and whispered to my Japanese friend (let's call her Sensei Sensei for now), "Sensei! This guy is Indian!" She followed the ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ protocol very faithfully.

"Can I have the name please?"
"Sensei Sensei."

"Is this the name associated with the account?”
"Yes."

I didn’t intend to talk as Sensei. It so happened that he thought I was Sensei. The confusion got sorted out later on when he realized that Sensei was sitting right next to me and I was asking her for all the basic information that I had to provide him with.

“So Sensei, could you tell me what exactly the problem is?
I told him.

“Couldddd yooouuuuu dooo sommmmethinnng Sensei? Could yooouuuuu turn off yourrrr commmpppuuuterrr, turn off yourrrr moooodddem, wait 20 seconnndds, restaaarrrrrrtt yourrrr moooodddem and then restarrrrtt your commmpppuuutterrr plllleeeassse?”

I did precisely as told.

"Now, caaaaaaannn yoouuuuu tell me what type of moooodddem you are uuuussinnnngggg?”

Once I provided him with that information, he asked me to tell him how many lights were there on that modem and how many were ‘ON’. I told him that one of the lights was not 'ON'.

“Verrrrrrry gooooooooddd, Sensei. That is egggggggcellllennntt!”

Huh?? What was excellent about that??

He then asked me to set up a new internet connection. So, these were his instructions, "Doooooooo yoouuuuuuu seeeeeeeeee aaa grrrrrrrrreeeeeeeen Staaaaaaarrrrrrtttt butttttonnnnnn onnn yoooourrrrr commmmpppppuuuuuuuttter screeeeeennn?”

"Yes! I do!!"

“Gooooood. Caaaaaaannnnn youuuuuuu clllllllllick on it, pllllleeeeeeaaassse?”

Imagine my frustration. He walked me through the process of setting up a new internet connection in his slow droning speech. More than his speech, it was his assumption that I was really stupid and didn’t know the basics of how to use a computer that irked me a lot. Of course, if I’ve called you about a problem with my internet connection, I obviously know how to use a computer!! For goodness sake!!

We had to set up a new internet connection multiple times, and on subsequent trials, I wouldn’t wait for his instructions and would let him know once I was actually done with the process.

"Wonnnnnnnnnnddderfullll, Sensei!! Thatttt is reeeeeeeaaaaaaallly wonnnnnddderrrfullll!!”

Half way through the call, I had become so impatient with him that I asked him if this was a problem that was fixable over the phone. I had a good mind to ask him to connect me to someone higher up in the ranks.

“Yessssss Ms. Sensei. Thiss is cerrrrrtttainnnnnly fixabllllle overrrrrr the phooonnne. Now, would you gooooooo to Myyyyyy Commmppuu….”

I was seriously losing it at some point, but he was very patient. Well, the call lasted about 45 min. Eventually, when everything was sorted out, I couldn’t stop myself from saying this, “I have to tell you this though, that you have been very patient with me.” Well, I really don’t know which one of us was more patient with the other.

“Oh nooooooo, Ms. Senseeeiiiii! You are highly mistaken. You are technically very sound. Usually I have a hard time giving instructions to customers because they don’t understand things very easily. It was very interesting troubleshooting with you. I enjoyed it!"

Enjoyed it, huh??!! Is that why he went on and on and on?!

“Sensei, if you are happy with my service, please fill in the feedback form that you will receive via e-mail from AT&T and let us know about your experience today. Again, my name is Mike. Thank you for choosing AT&T.We appppprrrrreeeeeciaaaatttte your business."

Yeah, right!

Mitsuwa

On a tired Saturday evening, a phone call from a lab-mate brought some excitement. There was a plan to drive to Mitsuwa, the Japanese super-market in the outskirts of the city. After a little contemplation, I said yes and I don't regret it. :)

I remember, way back in school, I had this chapter in one of my Hindi text-books about the Japanese and their culture. I remember two distinct characteristics about the Japanese from that lesson - their hardworking nature and their penchant for order and cleanliness. I got a glimpse of it at Mitsuwa. It was quite a big store selling many different kinds of seafood but everything was so neatly organized and there was no odour of any sort emanating from any corner of the store. The store seemed like a busy market in a cute, clean little town. Polite shopkeepers, smiling cooks at the fast-food stalls, and the ever-so courteous women at the check-out counters, just leave you with a desire to stay put and admire the happenings. I was slightly disappointed by the fact that they did not have English translations for a lot of their commodities. But, that was not a problem as I had my Japanese friends to help me out.

While I was lazily scanning the different kinds of fish, this kid, a boy about 13 years old, walked up to me at a hurried pace with an eager excitement on his face. I thought he wanted to get past me to the other end of the aisle, so I moved my cart aside making way for him. He walked around the cart, came close to me and held me by both my hands. I was initially taken aback by the 'audacity' of that act. But, he held me so affectionately, and looked into my eyes with such a soft and loving smile, that I couldn't help smiling back at him. Ah! What I felt then is indescribable in words. Was it a mother's feeling when her child comes running to her at the end of a long day in school? Or was it the joy of finding a long lost friend? My friends stood there quite perplexed by what was going on.

It was a fleeting moment, but felt like ages. The boy's mother came running up to us and dragged the boy away by his arm. She screwed her son's ears very gently and said something to him in Japanese, which seemed like rebuke for his behaviour. She apologized to me and walked away with her son. Suddenly, things started to make sense to me. The kid was probably autistic. He was talking in vague sounds to his mother when she pulled him away from me. With his head tilted in quite an uncomfortable angle, he followed his mother as she disappeared into a different section of the store. I couldn't take my eyes off the direction in which they went. My mind was not into the new and interesting things around me anymore. I was yearning to see that little boy again.

Towards the end of our shopping, I saw the mother and the son again. This time, I smiled at the lady but she turned her face away, almost as if in embarrassment. I wanted to tell her that I was not offended by what her son did and that she needn't feel sorry. In fact, that was a lovely moment that I would cherish forever. But, words just wouldn't form in my head. Thoughts remained as thoughts and feelings as feelings, locked into that little corner of the brain that treasures life's most defining moments, moments that stir your soul.

No News Feeds??!!

I logged into Facebook the other day and to my utter shock, my home page had no News Feeds!! There was just this message saying, "There are no News Feeds for you. If you want to receive News Feeds, add somebody you know as a friend."

What on earth was going on? I immediately pinged a friend on yet another indispensable e-communication tool - gchat. I've pasted the conversation below which conveys the state of panic that I was in.

me: i am not able to see any news feeds on my facebook home page!!

how did that happen?
friend: wow !! congrats

that is everyone's dream i guess :D
me: arre.. no seriously, it says, you have no news feeds from anyone.. i mean, even if somebody updated something 10 days ago, it should show right?
i have always seen stuff like "so and so are friends"
friend: yes it should
me: or "so and so commented" etc

absolutely nothing is there on my home page!!!!!!
friend: logout and log in again and see

and then check ur settings if u have hidden all updates or something
me: i checked settings..
phew! i logged out and back in, it is all there!

It was seriously such a moment of panic for me to realize that I didn't know what my friends were up to! On certain days, when I wake up very early in the morning and don't see anybody online on gchat, I get so scared and so worried that something has majorly gone wrong in the world and I am not aware of it. I immediately check a couple of news channels online to see if that is the case. In the worst cases of fear, I raise the blinds and look through the windows to see if things look normal outside.

Once, one of my friends sms'd people saying, "SOS. Gmail not working. I am already having withdrawal symptoms." We are more dependent on and addicted to these social networking sites than we can even imagine. Even if we are not regular 'pingers', 'scrappers' or 'wall-writers', we certainly get a deep sense of security and belonging by the sheer knowledge that we are connected to so many people, even though we may not have met many in many many years. And yes, not to forget how entertaining these sites can be! They certainly do their part in destressing us at the end of the day and bringing a smile on our faces. :)

Of dreamers...

Finally, I watched the Wizard of Oz. The DVD had been lying around in my apartment for a good one month, just waiting to be put to use. I was too tired when I started watching the movie and started to doze off towards the end. No no.. the movie wasn't boring. I was just too too tired. And this is not the first time I have slept during a movie. :D

Back to the Wizard, did I enjoy the movie? Oh, yes! I absolutely loved it!! (I slept only for a couple of scenes, which I was prompt to get updated about.) This is yet another movie where I am able to relate to the protagonist.

I have always been a dreamer. Dreaming in class, during exams, at meetings, on buses and trains, at parties, at work, and unfailingly, every single night. My dreams have mostly been about unrealistic things - ranging from me stuck at the bottom of an ocean in a drowned aircraft to talking monkeys driving cars to cutting ribbons of giant sized, colorful DNA with scissors. A book of my dreams would surely be a best-seller!

This wonderful song from the movie brings out the dreams most of us would have had at some point or the other. Revel in these dreams, for these are what that shape our inner world. What if they take us away from reality, reality has never been that easy anyway!

"Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high,
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Away above the chimney tops,
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

When was the last time you wished you could fly like birds, over the clouds, over the rainbow?

Can I ask you a question?

I was waiting to board a train when this guy, evidently a train operator as he had this yellow jacket on, walked up to me and said,

"Excuse me lady, can I ask you a question?”

Even before I could react, the question was on its way.

“I noticed that you are carrying a sweater with you. Are you really that cold?"

Well, I wasn't surprised that he asked me that question because it was in the 80's that day!!

"I am carrying it with me 'cos it gets cold on the train sometimes.”

"Yes, you are right. I completely forgot about that. Some cars are colder than the others; it totally depends on which one you are in. I used to wonder initially why train operators wore those big jackets even in summer; later realized that it was because of the cold."

I gave him one of those standard smiles of mine that I give when I don’t know what to say.

"Can I tell you something Ma’am? You have very beautiful dark skin.”

I was surely taken aback by that sudden compliment thrown at me. I don’t remember if I blushed or not, but well, as one of my friends once said, you can’t tell if dark people blush. :P

“Have you always been dark or did you get dark in summer?”

“I was always dark.”

“Oh, I see. But, I gotta tell ya that that’s some beautiful skin you’ve got there. Have you heard of Mississippi Masala?”

I couldn’t quite recollect at that point what he was talking about.

“It is a movie starring Denzel Washington. Do you know Denzel Washington? He is an actor.”

“Of course... I like him!” And this time, I swear I blushed. :D

“So, in that movie, Denzel Washington falls for this Indian woman, who has a very strict, conservative father. Denzel and this girl initially fight over a car accident… that is how they meet in the first place. But slowly, they get to know each other and begin to fall in love. It is actually very beautiful, you know.”

Beautiful indeed is the process of falling in love. If only there wasn’t any post-processing involved! He continued talking while I was fervently looking behind me to check every approaching train to make sure I didn’t miss mine, getting caught in the web of love stories.

“I once met this Indian woman on the train. I used to operate the train to Skokje and this woman used to take that train. We slowly started talking... she told me that she never had a boyfriend before; she has never been kissed before… We grew to like each other and starting dating too. But her father was just like the Indian girl’s father in Mississippi Masala, very conservative."

"She had this cousin who was interviewing girls in the family to pick a wife. Yeah, you know, in their family, cousins marry each other...”

I gave him a very understanding nod.

“This cousin interviewed this girl as well. For some reason, he liked her a lot and preferred her over his other cousins. The girl did tell him everything, but he still wanted to marry her. The girl’s father…”

I had stopped paying attention as my train had arrived.

“You have been waiting for this train? Well then, here is a flyer for the show that I did last month... and that’s my band. You can visit this website to know more.”

There was his photograph indeed, with the rest of the band. I took the flyer from him and stared at it not knowing what to say.

“It was very nice talking to you.”

I smiled. “It was very nice talking to you too." I waved my hand and made a dash for the train.

He shouted across the platform, “What is your name?”

I answered his question, but not loud enough for him to hear. He repeated his question. The train chugged along, with him looking in its direction for an answer.